I Am a Christian and I Have Failed You

I believe in God. I believe in Heaven and I believe in Hell. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and I believe that through His mercy I will be saved. I believe the Bible is the truth and I believe that I am a sinner.

But I also believe that I have failed you and I’m sorry.

To the woman who lost her way in a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that the idea of going to church makes you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry that you don’t go because you are scared to be judged and fear you won’t belong. I’m sorry you feel like you can’t go to church because you don’t have a nice outfit. When you finally find one you feel is acceptable, I’m sorry that you still feel nervous walking in.

I have failed you.

To the guy who found the courage to tell the world that he is gay, I’m sorry. I have never done anything personally to hurt you but my faith immediately tells you that I think you are going to Hell because of your lifestyle. You are at war with the Christian community on who you can love, even though you believe in God yourself and want to pursue him. But, you can’t because you feel shunned.

I have failed you.

To the young single mother of three beautiful children, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you are embarrassed when they pass around the offering plate and you have nothing to put in it. The church shouldn’t make you feel obligated to contribute and you shouldn’t feel like you can’t go on Sunday because you have no money to give at the end of the service. You don’t have to pay to hear the word of God and if you feel that way, I’m sorry.

I have failed you.

To the homeless man with tattered clothing and matted hair, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you received more stares than welcomes. I’m sorry that you can’t have your two hours a week of praise and prayer to find strength. You feel like an outsider in a place where you are allowed to be weak, vulnerable and scared. I’m sorry we take that away from you.

I have failed you.

The truth is, I have faults just like you. I had a child out of wedlock, I curse like a sailor and sometimes I have a few too many beers on a Saturday night knowing I will get up and go to church rubbing elbows with people who don’t know I’m hung over. Even though I make mistake after mistake, I still identify with being a Christian and pursue a relationship with God.

Church isn’t a gathering of believers to see who is best dressed, who gives the most money or who sins the least amount. It’s a gathering of believers offering strength, comfort and hope through the word of God.

Nothing else.

I am not afraid to say I struggle every single day. I’m not afraid to expose my faults and show the world who I really am.

Don’t be afraid to show the world who you really are.

I’m sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t.

I won’t fail you again.



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