Dear Working Mom, Dear Stay-At-Home Mom: E-mails Between Myself
Mommy-hood. It’s not easy, is it? Whether you are a stay at home mom or a mom with a 9-5, it can get pretty rough. But, who really works harder? A stay-at-home mom or a working mom? This topic has been covered on social media a number of times but I never really found the answer. I just read a bunch of comments from bickering moms telling each other who had it worse. Luckily for me, I’ve had the opportunity to be both of these things and I’ve concluded an answer. The right answer. The answer that will put everything to rest. Below you will read two e-mails to myself and from myself on the subject. The difference? My job title.
http://homeschoolfarm.com/?cat=1 To: Mom with a “Job” <workinharderthanU@mommymail.com>
where to order proscar From: Stay at home slave <email@example.com>
Dear Working Mom,
A stay-at-home mom has a lot of duties and responsibilities that go unnoticed and often are not appreciated. Others tend to think we “sit around at home all day” which always makes us feel like we must defend our title of being “just a stay at home mom.” What we hate most, though, is when you working moms say “Man, I wish I had it that easy.”
Excuse me while I clean this macaroni and cheese off of the ceiling while having a toddler attached to my leg, not to mention having to hear “SNACK!” every five seconds which is causing my normal mental state of mind to slip into full gear of “I’m losing my freaking mind” status in .02 seconds.
Easy?! You must be joking. You’ve clearly never been a stay-at-home mom. This isn’t easy. You know what you do all day? You drop your kid off for someone else to raise (probably someone you barely know, but hey they were the cheapest you could find) while you get appreciated by your significant other on a daily basis because you make money. You have an income; you help with bills! Woo Freakin’ hoo! Your husband also feels the need to help around the house more because you have a “real job.” You’re just Mother of the Year, aren’t ya? You’ve got it rough! You are probably polishing your trophy now as you read this.
Want to know my daily life? I’ll tell you. I wake up, scrub things, explain to a little human she can’t spread tooth paste on the television any more, then I start scrubbing things I already scrubbed just for the house to look like an F-2 tornado blew through it instead of the F-5 had I not scrubbed. If you haven’t caught on, I scrub a lot. I also get to know that most people think that I just sit at home all day while my current outfit is covered in food, slobber and well I don’t know what this is on my left sleeve here but it smells funny so now I have to do laundry while also cooking a five-star dinner holding this little one because she wants to help, too. I haven’t left the house all day, I am isolated from civilization and I crave an adult conversation instead of every day arguments with my two-year-old as to why she can’t keep flushing things down the toilet.
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(You see that?! She just hijacked the laptop. I’ll leave that there for you).
Easy?! Please. I’m sacrificing a social life; being an adult. I don’t get a moment to myself from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I am mentally drained; I very well may be mental at this point, I’m not sure. I’m so delirious right now with the 28th episode of Minnie Mouse playing I’m not even sure where I am right now. Am I dreaming? Nope, she just pulled my hair and I definitely felt it, this is happening. Don’t tell me this is easy when going to work must be a walk in the park. Driving in the car on your way to “work” sipping on your Skinny Spice Girl Latte or whatever you people are craving from that Starburst place. Ha! Work. Yeah, okay.
Feel free to respond when you are done getting praised by the world on how incredibly awesome you are.
“Just a Stay-At-Home Mom”
To: Drama Momma <firstname.lastname@example.org>
From: Mom With Money <workinharderthanU@mommymail.com>
Dear Drama Momma,
You sound bitter. Your e-mail almost hurt my feelings but then I looked at my bank account and now I’m totally fine.
A dream? I wake up at four every single morning to get my daughter around to take her to the babysitter. When I try to leave the baby sitter she cries and clings onto me. It breaks my heart because I know I won’t see her for another 12 hours and I’ll be too exhausted to really play with her like I want to. But, I’ll try anyway.
First though, I have to pick up the house, get at least one load of laundry done so I can have clothes to wear for work tomorrow. Once that is finished I usually get dinner started around six in the evening and I feel terrible that I always want to make something quick and easy. I wish I had the energy to make my family a wonderful dinner but I’ll probably just throw in a frozen pizza tonight because I want to at least be able to play and cuddle with my daughter for an hour before she goes to bed. I read her a few stories until she falls asleep and a lot of nights I cry because I don’t get enough time with her. I noticed how much she has grown as she lies in her crib and I can’t help but think about all that I’m missing out on. I can’t sit and stare for too long though, I have to switch the laundry over and get ready for bed. Four in the morning comes fast and the day just flies by.
I wish I had it as good as you. You make it sound so terrible, but that’s why I refer to you as drama momma. I’d love to clean macaroni and cheese off of the ceiling, a kid clinging to my leg. I’d love all of it. You need to just be thankful that what you are doing is not nearly as exhausting as a working mom. I do it all. You sit at home and occasionally get your hair tugged on while watching The Disney Channel. There is nothing more to argue about. There’s that.
Gotta go, some people have to work in the morning,
Mom with a Real Job
What I have learned from the two versions of myself is this:
We both work and we work hard.
Just in different ways. But that doesn’t make one harder than the other nor better than the other.
We envy each other.
We wish we were in each others shoes because we both have different voids we need filled that the other has to offer.
We don’t support each other.
We argue over who works harder but fail to praise each other for working hard, period.
The Answer: If you work or stay at home, it doesn’t matter. When you lay your head down at night remember that you are both ultimately the same thing; A Mom who is doing the best she can for her children.