21 Things I Want To Say To Olivia On The Bachelor

If you have been keeping up with the new season of The Bachelor, you will find many things you love (Ben) and well, kinda hate (Olivia). I love Ben Higgins. How can someone not love Ben Higgins? He’s insanely attractive, sweet, genuine, caring and I need to stop there, I’m a married woman. Then there is the opposite side of the spectrum, things I kinda hate. I hate that a woman who is just basically awful is still in the running for such a sweet guy’s heart. But at the same time, I don’t necessarily hate Olivia, because I know she doesn’t stand a chance with America’s heartthrob. I just find myself cringing and dropping F-bombs as I’m watching the show. Olivia, to put it bluntly, pisses me off.  So I made a list of things I want to say to Olivia.

  1. Olivia, Ben is not your man “at this point.” There’s like 14 other women with smaller mouths left.
  2. You are not zen with Ben.
  3. Your overconfidence is not only annoying but sounds to me like you are just trying to convince yourself that you and Ben have more than what you really do.
  4. You love this man? Really? You’ve spent like 5 hours with him. I’m allowed to love him because I don’t care if he thinks I’m creepy. I’m not trying to marry him, you are. Don’t freak him out!
  5. You can’t have every one-on-one date. You literally got the first impression rose and your head blew up like a balloon. First impressions mean nothing. I once ate a cheeseburger and my first impression was that it was delicious but hours later I got food poisoning. Get over yourself.
  6. You did kinda make a fool out of yourself with your little “talent.” You made me feel uncomfortable in my own living room clear in Indiana. (10 minutes away from Ben’s hometown, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you, ya crazy).
  7. If you interrupt one more person, I’m literally going to scream.
  8. Your panic attack wasn’t really a panic attack. It was more like “Why wasn’t Ben obsessed with me after that performance” attack.
  9. I’m following the Twitter account, “Olivia’s Mouth.”
  10. When you cried to Ben about your cankles; after he told everyone he was down because of two deaths in his community… I felt my body temperature rise 6 degrees.
  11. When you came out of that cake, I hoped you were going to trip.
  12. Why did you tell JoJo the ‘I’m falling in love with you’ was reciprocated? Are you kidding? Do you seriously not remember that you’re on TV? Like, millions of people are going to know you lied and look crazy?
  13. Why are you snapping your fingers and dancing when you felt you just had to talk to Ben again? It’s weird. You’re weird!
  14. Ben isn’t sending you signals. He’s not saving the “best for last.” He’s telling you “Get your shit together or Buh Bye.”
  15. Powder your nose.
  16. You aren’t as special as you make yourself out to be. Ben has a variety of smart and beautiful women to choose from. Stop being so cocky.
  17. Yes, you aren’t good at being sexy, you become very awkward. I agree with you for once.
  18. Why didn’t you just shove both of your fists in your mouth for your talent?
  19. Stop calling Ben your husband. He is not your husband. At all. Husband’s don’t date 14 other women.
  20. Ben called Caila a sex panther. Ben didn’t call you a sex panther.
  21. When Ben looks at you his smile is a cross between “what is wrong with her” and “please stop talking.”

Look, I understand the producers will cut, edit and produce whatever they want, to create whoever they want. I’m giving  you the benefit of the doubt that you probably aren’t a bad person or that cray cray, you’re just reacting in your own weird way because of the circumstances. It just so happens that you can’t handle it.

So, if I had to make a prediction, I’d say you are going home next week. And if you’re not, I’m done watching.

Just kidding! Ben is way too hot to miss.

Want more? Read 21 Things I Want To Say To The Bachelor Ben Higgin’s.

Recommended Posts
  • C Quella

    This author made a fool of herself by drooling over Ben. This is the bachelor, it is fake, it is a horrible show. Yes, I know someone who was on it and it is fake people – ratings and money – this is what TV is.

    • Ben’s Baby Momma

      hahaha you are so funny!! Do you not watch the bachelor? Because I think every woman who watches this drools over Ben Higgins. She def did not make a fool out of herself. She was hilarious!! I LOVE this article and am grateful for this woman’s humor.

      • jane337

        I watch it and do NOT drool over Ben. He seems like a total wimp and very boring to me. I really hate when his eyes roll back into his head when he talks. His conversations are a yawn. He says the same thing to everyone. If I was on a date with him, I would leave early. I watch the show for entertainment purposes only to see all the psycho girls.

        • Sam West

          And there is a personal opinion not the slightest bit relevant to the article. The author was writing a funny article with a disclaimer at the end. It was supposed to get some laughs and express what a lot of people think while watching Olivia on The Bachelor. It really bothers me how people feel the need to fight and express their opinion about something VERY STUPID and try to bring people down with insults. Do we care that you do not find Ben attractive? No. Just stop watching the show then. Do we care that people disagree with this author? No. We read this article because it was against Olivia and knew it would be FUNNY. I can bet you that I am younger than most of you but I am much more mature than all the people who are hating on others for STUPID reasons. Get off the internet.

          • Jessica Rowland

            Bro. She has the right to voice her stupid opinions just like you have the right to go on your stupid paragraph long rant. Seems like you might need a break from the internet as well. lol

  • Kathy

    AGREED!!!! I am sure it is a defense mechanism but it isn’t attractive…at all…another wife and mom in Indiana 😉

  • Tiffany

    you’re ugly on the inside and out. this was literally the stupidest, meanest and most terribly written blog post i’ve ever read on the internet. for real. i feel dumber for taking the time to read this 2nd grade level garbage.
    and there, now you know how it feels to be judged on the internet by someone who doesn’t know you at all.

    • Jonna Miller

      I’m sorry to say, but signing up for a TV show opens the door to be criticized by others. It’s just how it is. By writing this, I opened the door for myself to be criticized as well and frankly, I opened that door because I can handle it. I’ve been judged from other blog posts I’ve written to measures you can’t and won’t comprehend, so I can assure you that your comment is not hurting anyone’s feelings over here. 🙂

    • Jonna Miller

      I’m sorry to say, but signing up for a TV show opens the door to be criticized by others. It’s just how it is. By writing this, I opened the door for myself to be criticized as well and frankly, I opened that door because I can handle it. I’ve been judged from other blog posts I’ve written to measures you can’t and won’t comprehend, so I can assure you that your comment is not hurting anyone’s feelings over here. 🙂

      • Dia

        i think you did a great job!!! keep doing what you’re doing!

      • Danica Gragg

        lol so funny we all shared it. I agree, all those girls know what they’re getting into and Olivia intentionally ruffles feathers and knows what type of feedback that gets. I think shes intentionally acting like this like a lot of them do to try to get shows after or be spin off bachelor shows. its an act that all the eccentric ones play but she gets on my nerves and i hope she sees this.

      • Julie Matheson

        Does it make you feel better to criticize people if you think they deserve it and/or are asking for it? “Opens the door”, what does that mean? That it is ok to be critical of someone you couldn’t possibly know, just because they applied for a tv show? That’s not in their contract. Its what people (it seems you are one of them) tell themselves to feel like they’re not being as mean as they are.

        • It means that this is the internet and The Bachelor is entertainment. This isn’t the meanest thing you’ve seen online and we both know you are guilty of being mean at some point in your life so let’s cut the bullshit here. Go attack Perez Hilton or Hollywood.com, not a Blogger who has literally had 1 post regarding the entertainment industry. (I’ll probably do another one tomorrow, though). Besides, Olivia, if anyone, is the mean girl here. I believe if someone wants to be a bully, then they can take some back. Don’t like it, don’t read it.

    • Belle Cummings

      Shut up Tiffany, do you even watch the Bachelor? I think your rude n if u don’t like it that much why’d u even take the time to write a comment… There now u know what’s it’s like to be judged on the internet by someone who doesn’t know you at all

      • Tiffany

        please crawl back into whatever midwest loser dirt hole you came out of and never speak again.

        • Belle Cummings

          Lol I’m from the south you moron haha talk about a hateful person ^

          • Melody Robinette

            Completely unrelated to everything, but I LOVE YOUR NAME SO MUCH.

            And…carry on with the fighting. lol

          • Belle Cummings

            oh thank you 🙂 your name is lovely as well

      • Jessica Rowland

        When you post your opinion, everyone can comment on it. That includes people who agree and people who don’t agree. 🙂 Welcome to the internet.

        • Belle Cummings

          Um thanks, I’m pretty aware of how the internet works…

    • jane337

      I am SO sure you hurt her feelings.

    • Dia

      those girls on the show SINGED A CONTRACT….that show doesn’t bring the bad things out in people, it brings the truth out in people…. it’s no one elses fault but her own… what would the internet be without blogging about our favorite tv show…… and btw by you trashing the author is stooping lower than the author writing about a REALITY TV SHO

    • NatesMama1128

      Frankly, the lack of correct grammar, punctuation and capitalization on this comment is making my head throb. You are most certainly not qualified to criticize anyone for their writing, and if you think *this* is the “meanest…blog post i’ve ever read on the internet” then I fear you’ve not read much of the internet.

    • Gia

      Tiffany: You’re ugly on the inside and out.

      How’d that feel Tiff?? Wait, shit. I don’t know you at all…Did I just judge you on the internet??

      You and I both know that receiving a comment like that is hurtful- and if you don’t
      Lknow that, you’re what’s diagnostically categorized in the mental health community as a sociopath.

      Anyways, I think that we’ve all been dumbed down by YOUR post. You called the author out for posting without knowing a girl (a girl who has multiple contacts in place that more or less waive her right to sue for libel or slander). And yet you attack anyone who’s against your view.

      Take a deep breath in. Realize and trust that you’re alive, well, and capable of good. Oh, and P.S., “stupidest” isn’t a word. Totally wish it was.

  • Meg

    that mouth.

  • Alyssa Marie

    OMG this is so great! And has made my morning. I couldn’t agree with you more.

  • Jen Renth Emig

    We have 2 more weeks left of Olivia I believe. She’ll get the boot on Feb 8th and I cannot wait!!!!

    • Julia

      come on, why spoil it for us?

  • Kelly Vader Lightfoot

    Wow, that was really mean. I’m sure you are perfect and that a produced and edited snapshot into your life would show the absolute best of you. You don’t have to be a fan of Olivia, but tearing a complete stranger to pieces in an online blog is unworthy of respect, especially woman to woman. The thing that bothers me most is that I saw this because a high school girl shared it. Way to go. You seem creative, find something more interesting to write about.

    • Kim

      How is she tearing her down when what she stated was what everyone else saw on national tv ..So get a grip she choose to put herself out there

  • Emma

    Please think about how Olivia feels when she reads things like this. I know it’s easy to assume that she will never see your post but others will. And believe me if she doesn’t see your post, she’s still seeing about a thousand others from people. Try to think about how hard that must be. I’m sure it’s frustrating and down-putting to be judged by people who have never even met you.

    • jane337

      Then she shouldn’t go on a TV and be a weirdo. She is a freak with a big mouth. She needs therapy. From the sound of your post, either you know her personally or you are into her.

  • M. Warren

    If you address the fact that the producers of the show will “cut and edit” whatever they want to produce, then why do you think it’s okay to attack a woman on this show? You’ve acknowledged that she’s not who they are making her out to be, and then you continue to cut her down. Yes, I think the contestants should be incredibly careful about what they say at all times to not give the show too much ammunition to work with, but hey they are human, and producers will literally cut sentences apart to string words together that came out of their mouths in a completely different way. This show is all fun and games until the excessive amount of online hate speech that seems to be the norm comes along, and it’s just sad to watch women tear apart other women – women they’ve never even met and have no connection to nonetheless. I see from your blog title that you’re “blunt,” and that’s often a word I use to describe myself. But, there’s a fine line between “blunt” and “bully” and this post certainly seems to cross it. I hope you’ll think twice next time you decide to personally attack a human being that you’ve never had any personal contact with whatsoever.

    • Dia

      if Olivia didn’t want people talking about her in the REAL WORLD, then she should have thought twice about throwing herself on national television…even if she is a “good person”… i don’t know any good decent people that would EVER say or do the things she does…. sorry not sorry

      • M. Warren

        Right, the point is that she ISN’T saying the things she says – her words and sentences are literally spliced by producers to form something completely out of context from what actually happened. I just think this is something people need to start understanding about the Bachelor. They are very skilled at manipulating a non-scripted show into exactly what they want it to be – drama, instead of reality.

        • Lauren

          Even if they’re edited differently, the point is she definitely said those things, they were just said in a different order. Nobody put those words in her mouth. She bragged about herself. She chose not to show humility. She chose to cry to a man she just met about how terrible her cankles are. No matter what the timing was, that’s ridiculous and self-centered. Also, I would like to see all these blogs “dedicated to her cankles”. I highly doubt they even exist. She’s just trying to make herself sound famous and much more important than she really is.

        • Mary

          why do you care? why are you on this post? the author was very funny, and nearly all factual. only 2-3 could be remotely viewed as mean. Mean is when you hurt someone’s feelings on purpose. Olivia is not part of this blog.
          Hey, when things look as awful as they did for Olivia, that is the comedy in and of itself.

      • Mary

        Exactly, and you can’t fake the comments and reactions the other girls have on the show to what Olivia says and does in order to splice words etc.
        Not likely. She did and said those things, and the producers did their job perfectly. Which is to make an entertainment show!
        That is, afterall, why we watch it!!

    • Elizabeth D

      Everyone knows that Reality TV is edited. But they cant edit what you don’t say or do. She says and does these things. They can’t edit her hiding in the bushes to interrupt someone. They can’t edit a conversation where she says she told Ben she loved him. I am sure they are editing to exaggerate her seemingly over the top confidence. But hey, if you don’t want the world to get a skewed perception of you, then perhaps you should opt NOT to participate in a TV show that has been unabashedly editing people into “characters” for 20 seasons. I don’t feel bad for her. She applied. She made an audition video. And she isn’t stupid, she knew exactly what she was getting in to. I hope she can milk her 5 minutes of fame for all they are worth.

  • Pingback: Happy Birthday, Mr. President… | Call Me Veruca()

  • This literally just made my day. I was laughing out loud! Hilarious.

  • Brittany

    Reality television has made people so disconnected from real life. This is bullying. Online bullying – the same thing that people cry over when watching Dr. Phil. But apparently this constitutes as “funny” on this occasion only.

    Olivia is a person, a real person with real feelings. My job is to edit video and believe me, if you have the skills you can make people say just about anything. Not to mention the producers buzzing around causing drama to make the show’s ratings higher.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love The Bachelor and Olivia is not my cup of tea, but she is also not a fictional character that I can demean. It’s sad that our society believes that just because someone is on television means we can treat them like their feelings don’t matter.

    • NatesMama1128

      I am almost certain that Olivia is fully aware of the consequences of putting herself out there on national television. I think that calling this article “bullying” is pushing the envelope just a tad. Is it kind? Probably not. But if Olivia went on the Bachelor expecting to be treated kindly by the general public, she might actually *be* crazy. She bears much of the responsibility her own self.

      • minime13

        IT doesn’t make it okay for YOU to turn around and bully. Jesus. I hate the attitude of “well, they know what they’re getting into” as an excuse and justification for the whole world to turn soulless.

        • NatesMama1128

          Again, you’re overstating what “bullying” entails. Suck it up, buttercup.

          • Brittany

            That’s exactly the societal issue that I am referring to – being on television does not make it okay to demean others. And this is what we are teaching our children, “Oh, she’s on tv, she asked for it.” Great way to raise a generation.

            People are rude and mean, don’t try and change it, don’t try and go against the grain, just suck it up. Great advice.

          • NatesMama1128

            Frankly, she’s kind of a horrible person so I’m pretty sure she’s heard all of this stuff before.

            And okay, I will absolutely concede your point. No. It’s not nice. It’s mean and rude and unnecessary. But I’ll bet you any amount of money that every single one of those women on that show, pimping themselves out for “true” love and “fame and fortune” could not possibly care less what some obscure blogger thinks of them.

            Now, if it were Oprah….

          • Belle Cummings

            Honestly it’s not just because they are on TV… It’s they way they ACT on TV obviously. Regardless of who Olivia is in real life she is coming off and acting like a spoiled brat.

          • minime13

            I’m sorry, but nobody’s amount of terrible excuses your own.

            When a group of anonymous people go online and start picking at another person’s flaws in a group, that is bullying. Like it or not. Suck it up and own what you’re doing.

        • dltnj

          It’s not bullying – I’m sorry but if you behave terribly people have a right to call you out on it. While I agree that the show is edited, let’s be clear they can only edit what you give them and your own behavior. Don’t want people to call you out for bad behavior and acting like a jerk – don’t act like one, it is not that hard. And while we all make mistakes, this is not one mistake, she has repeatedly behaved terribly and with complete disregard to others. So sorry but calling her out is totally acceptable.

          • minime13

            I’m afraid it is bullying.

            One person acting like a jerk does not entitle you to judge them or say awful things about them. THAT is not that hard. Otherwise, you are no better than that person.

    • minime13

      I agree. I think I hit my zenith on this whole online bully/reality tv/viral videos thing last night when watching a spot about the drunk woman who was mean to an Uber driver. The video went viral, passed all over the world to millions, who got to see her at a bad moment and pick her apart. She’s been put on leave from her job – and may lose it. She’s been given death threats. Her family’s been given death threats, and her life for the forseable future is ruined.

      Because the world demands to judge.

      Same with reality. Sure these people think they know what they are getting into, but they aren’t in control of how they are edited to be on tv. It’s not reality. And none of that gives us the justifaction for any of these. We all need to take a long look at ourselves, at our worst, and even when we’re just not being 100%, and then just get over ourselves.

    • Indy

      Reality television and real life are not the same thing. This is entertainment. Olivia is a fictional character.

  • Lisa Bell Kovac

    Spot on! 🙂

  • I just realized I know her! Jonna, you are not far off on your assessment.

  • Steevie Rebecca

    Ok first off, some of yall are way too uptight! Second, I couldn’t have said it any better. Love your post, hate Olivia!!!

  • Pingback: Things I'm Loving Friday - For Love of Carrots()

  • Melseykiller